Is there really something wrong with me? Or all of me? Morally?
The fact i tend to read aloud orally?
But thats normal to me. Isnt that how its ought to be?
Its called reading, so its got to be.
Even not odd to me. So step back don’t corner me.
I write angles audibly. Crescendo your economy.
I tell myself these will all pass let it be. But its easier said than done how can it be?
At rock bottom lookin for a canopy. Insanity.
Gropin in the dark lookin for the enemy. He wants to get his hands on me,
wants to put an end to me.
Think i heard a voice inside of me.
It says this with me: Even in my head the demon has made his bed.
Diggin you a grave, quickly get a spade.
Bullet to my head, like i caught a stray.
Pull it make my bed, you need to get laid.
Dear god i need you so badly now. I need to express these feelings but I don’t know how!
The walls around me are closing in and I can’t breathe.
I’m looking at a door but i cant leave.
Knees on the floor but I don’t know how to grieve.
If the walls of my mind collapsed and i died today would you receive me or would i be cast beneath?
Lord, I believe! But unbelief’s got an equal hold on me.
I’m startin’ to feel it grow on me. Its takin’ a tow on me.
Devil’s got his lies sold on me. I feel his eyes sewed on me.
Fckin with my soul, it’s sodomy. He latches on, soldering.
Sits on me and I’ve been shouldering.
God I’m so wary. I can’t stand no more, my sole’s weary.
So high on ego I need to start sobering.
Give me the strength Lord, to keep soldiering.
-Jon Lau, 5th Oct 2021
ILLiteratepoet 